Calculus Made Awesome, by Silvanus P. Thompson, is available online. (Okay, so it's actually called Calculus Made Easy, but I like my alternate title better.)
Furthermore, unlike the modern calculus texts, it is nowhere near large enough to use as a weapon, even if you buy the print version, a 1998 edition fixed up by Martin Gardner Next time I teach calculus I must make sure to tell my students this book exists. And it's in the public-domain and free online, so it's not like I'd be recommending another expensive book. How much has calculus really changed in a century, anyway?
Thanks to Sam Shahfor reminding me of it. See also Ivars Peterson's review of the 1998 reissue. John Baez likes it but doesn't like that the new edition is longer than the old one.